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WEDDING TIPS #4 - Tips for writing wedding vows

Don’t be overwhelmed about your vows. I am here to help and here are some of my tips.

But let me just point out that there are two types of vows.

Legal vows vs personal vows.

Legal vows are some specific words that MUST be said for the marriage to be legal.

These are;

"I call upon the people here present to witness that I [Name], take you, [Name], to be my lawful wedded [wife/husband/spouse]."

My tip is to say these while you exchange rings as a repeat-after-your-celebrant type situation. Reason being is that I can ensure you say them correctly and you will have your hands full exchanging rings so it’s nice and quick and simple.

This means that your personal vows can be WHATEVER YOU WANT THEM. In my opinion your vows should be meaningful, personal, and in your own words. But they can be funny, lighthearted, serious, somber, short or long. It’s completely up to you.

Writing your vows from scratch can be an overwhelming prospect, and many of my couples tell me they don't know where to start.

So here’s my tips;

  • Instead of trying to construct sentences why not choose some questions that you can both write answers to? Or finish a sentence. That way they will both have a similar tone and length. For example;

  1. Why do you love them?

  2. Why will you always love them?

  3. Is there something special you want to promise?

  4. Where do you see you both being in 1 year? 5 years? 50 years?

  5. I love the way you…

  6. I love you for teaching me…

  7. I feel so lucky…

  • Decide on a word count together so they are the same length. I recommend 150 – 250 words.

  • You can keep your vows as a surprise for each other on the wedding day. Just email them to me separately.

  • Don’t try to memorise them. I will print them on special cards for you on the day.

  • But do read them over before the day, especially if you think you might get emotional. Practice makes perfect.

  • This is your chance to tell your partner what you promise for your relationship to come; make your vows a response to the awe-inspiring moment you're taking part in (your marriage ceremony) and the even more inspiring person you are in that ceremony with, your partner.

  • Make sure your significant other knows with no doubt how you feel and what vow/s you are making in response to the commitment you're both entering into.

  • While you can choose to write your own vows (and I encourage you to give it a go!) please don't feel any pressure to come up with something completely unique. If it's just not working for you, I have plenty of samples to share with you and there are plenty of resources on the internet to draw from.

  • I always suggest saying your personal vows before exchanging rings BUT there are no rules. We can do them in ANY order, as long as the legal vows are said at some stage and are heard by your legal witnesses.

  • If writing and words aren’t your thing I can help you, so don’t worry. I can do them over the phone with you, just ask a couple of questions and pull those vows together for you. So don’t be scared to ask.

There you go. I hope those tips are helpful to help you create the most beautiful vows for your wedding day.

Drop me a line and enquire if I am available –


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